Today is day three of the (The Love dare), Love is not selfish. If you haven’t experienced any stress or pressure yet and you think, wow this is easy, hold on to your pants! It will get harder my friends, not because I want it to but the bible says in John 10:10 (NIV) The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
When we seek to honor God with our lives and on purpose set out to love our husbands and other people you can be sure the enemy is going to make it difficult. But, have faith because Jesus our Savior has already overcome the world and He has conquered death. We have already won this battle but that doesn’t mean this life will be easy.
Selfishness just saying the word is all messy. Spit escapes from my lips to shower anyone or anything in its path. Isn’t that just how selfishness is, it affects everyone in its path. It’s always messy, and hurtful and all (me or I) focused. Selfishness is always saying the words me and I, never we or us but always centered on self.
I remember long ago my husband began to say (we) when he would talk about himself. I would say, “Why do you say that?” “It’s you not we?” He would very gently say, “I am not alone, we are in this together you are a part of me and when we were married I became we.” He says it when talking about himself, or me, and our family. It’s funny to see people’s reactions because it makes people uncomfortable.
Everyone tends to justify selfishness and even in other people. Comments like: “You are your own person,” “You’re separate from your spouse,” “You can have your own hobby’s apart from them.” These comments said in the context of marriage breed an environment for selfishness. Once we are married we are no longer separate individuals, we are one.
Mark 10:7-8 says For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh.
How many of us, me included, still act like we are our own, separate from our spouse? How many of us want our own things, our own ways, me time? Have you ever justified these selfish thoughts or actions in yourself but condemned the very same thing in your spouse? I have many times and I sit here today convicted. I don’t want to continue this way, I want to be loving, kind and patient. I married my husband to be one with him, not to be separate and alone.
Lord Jesus help us to not justify our selfishness. God search our hearts and reveal to us our true selves like only you can. God change us from the inside to be more like you. Help us to be compassionate and caring with pure motives. Heal our hearts from past regrets and failures and rebuild us in your solid truth. Open our eyes to a new way of thinking and acting focused on you alone. Help us to remove anything or anyone in our lives that would foster an attitude of selfishness and division in our marriage in Jesus name amen.