Yesterday was Love dare thirteen in the book it spoke about how Love fights fair.
Fighting fair has never been my strong suit. When I think of fighting I think of winning no matter the cost. Fighting has become a part of who I am because at a young age I learned to be brave and to defend myself. Because of the things in my past, I have a very strong will, tough outer shell and a switch in me it seems where I turn off all sense of rational thought while in fight mode. Can anyone relate?
When I am in a fight immediately my brain becomes a filing cabinet full of every bad word or deed the other person has done. The drawers of this cabinet are opened all at once and the files and all the contents begin shooting out of my mouth at warp speed. I seriously don’t understand it. The stuff that comes to my mind of past hurts I don’t remember until the fight happens.
The problem is once I spew the contents of those mental folders out of my mouth then I can’t take them back and I now have created new hurts all on my own.
I need Jesus to help me cover these files with love and prayer and glue my mouth shut during fights because the fights, they’re bound to come. I want to learn to not escalate to the point of regret, anger and hurt. I need to realize fighting or disagreeing in the context of marriage is not a matter of life or death, it’s a disagreement, that’s it plain and simple.
James 1:19 (NLT)
Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.
Lord Jesus please help all of us learn to fight fair. Define for us boundaries, show us our errors and help us to listen, to speak slow, and lengthen our fuse in anger, help us to be a people of prayer first before we pick please Lord start with me in Jesus name amen.