Today is day thirty-five in the Love dare book, Love is accountable. Accountable is being responsible for something or someone, to answer for your actions. Would you consider yourself to be a person who takes responsibility for your actions in your marriage? Are you accountable to another person who speaks the truth of the Bible to you with love?
If you are accountable to someone in your marriage great job you are taking a huge step in helping your marriage become and stay successful. If you have never thought about having a mentor or accountability person before now, well now is the time to pray about who that person should be.
May I suggest when you choose a mentor or accountability partner, you proceed with extreme caution and only choose a person whom is of the same-sex. It’s a dangerous road when any person starts to confide in the opposite sex about their shortcomings or struggles in their marriage. This is a crack in the foundation of your marriage and many of marriages have ended in divorce because of it. Choosing a mentor is one of the most important decisions you will ever have in your life because, “…Don’t you know that a little yeast works through the whole batch of dough.” 1 Corinthians 5:6 (NIV)
Who we allow to speak into our lives has great influence over out steps and the direction we go. We need to choose very, very carefully.
A mentor needs to believe in Jesus Christ, needs to: read the Bible on a continual basis, needs to pray daily, needs to have a solid marriage foundation, needs to be for your marriage not against it, needs to have a humble, and teachable spirit, needs to manifest the fruits of the spirit, needs to sharpen you, needs to pray for you and your family, needs to have a deep love for children, needs to confess their shortcomings, needs integrity, needs to be faithful to their spouse, needs to be willing to take all your dirt and grime from your past and present and take those burdens and lay them at the feet of Jesus, needs to pray about everything before giving counsel or advice, needs to take correction humbly and so much more. You get the picture.
Titus 2:3-5 (NIV)
Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
The first step in finding a mentor is to pray. Be devoted to prayer and allowing God to bring the mentor. Be patient while you are waiting. Shortly after I became a Christian I asked several women to be my mentors and all of them said no, I was crushed. So I share this with you to encourage you to seek the Lord when you are told no and wait for the right one to come.
I finally found a woman who is older than me that is now my mentor. She has been married for over 60 years and is a very wise woman, she is a prayer warrior and a steward of the bible. She is humble and patient. She describes herself as “whosoever.” When I asked her what this meant she explained, “She is nothing apart from Christ she is just a whosoever and then she quoted Romans 10:13.
Romans 10:13 (KJV)
For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Let’s look at the Bible to see the best example of a mentor. Jesus being fully God takes the place of a servant and washes his disciples feet. He takes the dirt and grime off Peter’s feet, He can see where Peter has been, his feet leave a footprint behind revealing his past. A mentor has to be willing to take our dirt and grime off our feet. They have to be willing to sit at our feet and be uncomfortable with all of our dirt. Yet all the while staying humble and not considering themselves above us.
John 13:3-17 (NIV)
Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.
He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?”
Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”
“No,” said Peter, “you shall never wash my feet.”
Jesus answered, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.”
“Then, Lord,” Simon Peter replied, “not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!”
Jesus answered, “Those who have had a bath need only to wash their feet; their whole body is clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you.” For he knew who was going to betray him, and that was why he said not every one was clean.
When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.
Jesus help us today to be willing to be accountable to another. Help us to be honest and truthful with you first about our shortcomings. God may you bring the person to each of us that you want to be our mentor. God help us to be patient in the waiting. God give us wisdom and discernment and protect our hearts and marriages. God may you be glorified as we step out to be an example to others of your great love, mercy and grace. Let every part of our lives ooze Jesus. In Jesus name amen.